Ham & Asparagus Crepes

Some people say “real men don’t eat Crepes.”

Not me—I love Crepes.

I’d rather cook and eat Crepes than spend my time being a creep like some men that say “real men don’t eat Crepes.

Know what I mean?

I’ve been cooking crepes and serving them for brunch every few months for the past three years or so. They are not hard—just slightly intimidating in their own special way.

The basic recipe is pretty standard, but I found these guys to have the best description of the actual process involved in cooking your crepes.

While my recipe is designed to make four or five medium crepes—enough to serve breakfast for two—it only takes slightly longer to make twenty crepes.

My ingredients were:

For the Crepes:

½ cup of milk
2 eggs
1/3 cup of flour
A pinch of salt
¼ stick butter


For the filling:

8 slices deli ham (like you’d use on a sandwich)
1 can Green Giant Asparagus
½ block cream cheese


For the sauce:

1 package Knorr Hollandaise sauce mix


Start out by slowly melting ¼ stick of butter in a small boiler over medium heat.

Next, let your milk and eggs sit out on the counter top for a half hour to warm up. Sift and measure your flour into a mixing bowl, then whisk together the milk and eggs and add them to your flour and salt. Mix everything up real good with an electric mixer or in the blender, and then let it sit a few minutes to let the bubbles settle out.

Heat your Crepe pan or a medium skillet over medium low heat. On my stovetop the setting is about 2-3/4 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Once the skillet has heated up, brush it lightly with some of your melted butter and then pour ¼ cup of your batter mixture into the middle of the skillet and tilt the skillet around to get a thin, even circular puddle.

Redneck Tip: If your are not sure of the skillet temperature, pour just a little silver dollar size puddle out in the skillet, saving the rest of the batter for your next effort until you see if the skillet is too hot or too cold (mine was too hot the first time and I threw away a whole Crepe.)

Cook each crepe about two or three minutes until the edges start to curl upward, then carefully lift it with a metal spatula and flip it over in the skillet. Cook it about another minute, and then place it on a plate on the side.

Keep brushing out the butter and cooking crepes until you run out of batter, paying attention that the skillet doesn’t cool off too much or overheat and burn your Crepes.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and pre grease a 9”x9” Pyrex dish.

The filling part of this recipe is really easy. Lay a Crepe in the middle of a clean plate. Cover two thirds of it with two pieces of sliced ham. Lay two or three pieces of canned Asparagus side by side in the middle of the ham. Place two pieces of crème cheese end to end on top of the Asparagus, roll your filled crepe up, and place it in your baking dish.

When the Crepes are all rolled up and in the dish, cover the dish tightly with aluminum foil and toss the dish in the oven for 20 minutes.

While your Crepes are baking, make up your Knorr sauce or a homemade cheese sauce.

After 20 minutes or so, pull the foil off the dish and let things cook uncovered another five minutes while your stir your sauce.

Pull the dish out of the oven, place two crepes in the middle of your plate, spoon out some of your sauce, sit down at the table, and EAT!


Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Make Lemonaid...

Well, the Blogskin that I've used with "The Redneck Gourmet" since last December somehow lost it's mind while publishing a new recipe on Saturday, and I'm not smart enough to fix the original trashy HTML code contained in the "free template" that I had hardly paid attention to in the past six months.

After about two hours of trying to debug another rocket scientist's coding, I gave up and picked a new skin from blogger. This one needs some work, but the cascading style sheet format and cleaner code is something that I can work with.

After I cook some breakfast and my head stops hurting from trying to debug the old code, I'll try to get the archives section, the links, and the site meter reinstalled.

Wish me luck

The Redneck Gourmet Programmer

Greek Burritos

I had a pack of ground beef laying in the fridge that I had thawed out on Friday afternoon. I knew that I had to cook it soon else it would go bad, but Pat and I didn’t want hamburgers tonight.

Besides hamburgers and meat loaf, what else can you do with ground beef? Oh, I almost forgot stuffed bell peppers…any way…

A quick Google search yielded this recipe for Greek Pocket Sandwiches. The only problem was, I didn’t have any pita bread in the house. What I did have instead was some large flour tortillas.

Is there such a thing as Greek Burritos? No?

Well, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that there is now something called “Greek Burritos,” and here is what you need to make four of them:

For the meat filling:

¼ large white onion-diced
¼ large red onion-diced
1 carrot, chopped fine
2 cloves garlic, diced fine

2 tbsp bacon grease (or olive oil)
10 oz ground beef
(1) 8 oz can diced tomatoes
½ small can tomato paste
2/3 can of beef stock

½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp cumin powder
¼ tsp red pepper
¼ tsp allspice
¼ tsp paprika
¼ tsp salt

For the cucumber yogurt sauce:

½ medium cucumber, seeded and diced super fine
4 oz plain yogurt
garlic powder or one clove fresh garlic, diced super fine
1 scallion, diced (you guessed it) super fine

2 handfuls of organic salad greens if you want a little salad on the side

Now get out your largest heavy skillet and put it and the bacon grease on the stove over medium low heat. Add your diced onions and sauté for five minutes or so. Now add the carrots and keep sautéing.

When the carrots have softened a little, add the garlic and a splash of beef broth. Cook everything for another five minutes or so, then add your ground beef and break it up well with your spatula.

Now add all of your spices.

Redneck Tip: Be careful not to burn off your nose hairs enjoying the spice aroma—keep your face a safe distance away from the skillet.

Continue cooking the beef until it is nicely browned, then tilt your skillet sideways and spoon off any excess grease.

Redneck Tip: I left my grease in my skillet because I have a food induced death wish.

Now add the diced tomatoes, the tomato paste, and pour in some more of your beef stock. Bring everything to a nice low simmer, cover the mixture, and make your dressing.

Place your cucumber in a fine mesh colander and add ½ tsp salt. Let it set for five or ten minutes, then press the cucumber with the back of a large spoon to drain the water, then put your pressed cucumber into a small mixing bowl. Now add the yogurt, garlic, and scallion and stir it all up to combine well. Place it in the fridge to chill.

Place your plates in the oven to pre-heat and get out your chargers. Wrap your tortillas in aluminum foil and toss them in the oven on top of your plates.

Check the meat mixture every five or ten minutes and stir it with your spatula to keep it from sticking. Keep cooking the meat until it is nice and thick, then pull the lid off and cook five minutes more.

Pull the plates out of the oven, place a warm tortilla in the middle, spoon out some of the meat mixture, drizzle some of your sauce down the middle, roll the whole thing up, and EAT.

(Place your greens on a chilled plate on the side and top with some more cucumber sauce if you want a salad.)

Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet.

Grilled Stuffed Bell Peppers (Updated)

I was wandering around in the produce section of the grocery store today and noticed colored bell peppers on sale--$0.99 each. I love colored bells, so I bought two yellow and two red.

We cook with bell peppers a good deal when they are available for a reasonable price, but I don’t really need four whole peppers diced up right now and I hated to freeze fresh peppers so soon after buying them.

After looking through the fridge and pantry, I decided to make stuffed bell peppers for dinner—on the grill. As you may know, stuffed peppers usually consist of a mixture of meat, spices, and cheese, baked in the oven. Since I didn’t think that the peppers could stand cooking on the grill long enough to get the meat stuffing properly cooked, I precooked the stuffing in the skillet and things worked out well. Regarding ingredients, I used what I used, but you can feel free to experiment with your own combinations of sausage, beef, pork, lamb, and different cheeses like Monterey jack, Swiss, cheddar, you name it.

Here is what you will need to make my version of stuffed colored bell peppers:

Three large colored bell peppers

1 tbsp olive oil
¼ onion, diced fine
1 stalk celery, diced fine
1 clove garlic, pealed and diced very fine
½ lb ground beef
1 tbsp of Worcestershire Sauce
black pepper

1 package Lipton Fiesta Sides Mexican Rice

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

First things first—fire up your charcoal grill. I use charcoal with an electric starter—a thing that gets hot like the eye of an electric range—in order to avoid using lighter fluid. I hate eating food that smells like someone poured kerosene on it. Call me a charcoal snob, and use a gas grill if you must…

I ‘ve been using the Lipton Fiesta Sides instant rice for a while now. It produces good results, fast. Cook it according to the package directions (it’s done in 7 minutes); else make your own plain white or brown rice. You’ll need about 1-1/2 to 2 cups of finished rice, regardless of how long it takes to cook.

Heat a large heavy skillet over medium heat, adding your olive oil. Sautee the onions for a couple of minutes, then add the celery and cook another couple of minutes. Now add the garlic and cook until the onions are clear.

While the veggies are sautéing, slice your peppers in half lengthwise and remove the seeds and “gills.” Brush the outside of the peppers with a little olive oil and distribute ½ cup of mozzarella cheese equally inside the pepper halves.

Add the ground beef and Worcestershire Sauce and cook until the beef is lightly browned. Stir in ½ cup of mozzarella cheese, turn off the heat, and let everything cool.

Redneck Update (June 27th): I cooked stuffed bells again this evening and realized that in the original recipe write up I forgot to mention adding the cooked rice to the meat/veggie/cheese mixture at this time. Please accept my appology Ladies and Gentlemen.

Spoon the cooled meat/veggie/cheese/rice mixture into the pepper halves and top with a little extra cheese (I used parmesan.)

Meanwhile back at the grill, spread out your coals (gas grill users—adjust your flame to a height less that three feet) and brush your grill grate with olive oil or spray it with a non-stick spray.

Place the stuffed peppers on the grill and go fix yourself a drink—you’re almost done. Let the peppers cook for ten or fifteen minutes (depends on how hot your grill is), then move them round and turn them 90 degrees and make sure that they are not burning. When you can’t wait any longer, pull them off the grill, place them on a plate, and EAT.

Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Peasant Pasta with Meatballs and Veggie Parmesan Cream Sauce

We had a bad computer day on Wednesday here on St. Simons Island. We’re still suffering from some as yet unidentified problem that Adelphia says is in our PC’s, but we can’t explain since my laptop works OK on our back up dial up connection. Pat’s notebook is on it’s way via Fed-EX back to her corporate IT department for a tune up so we are a one PC family for couple of days.

Adding insult to injury, our condo air conditioner is running at about 50% capacity—in layman’s terms, our interior forecast is slightly warm, with a good chance of cooling down after the sun sets this evening. In the mean time, it’s about 80 degrees.

In an effort to cook dinner and not heat the kitchen up too much with the stove, I looked into doing some sort of quick pasta dish.

This recipe supplied the inspiration for the veggies. I added this simple Parmesan cream sauce. I also did my own variation of Italian meatballs.

Here is what you will need to make a fast dinner for two:

6 oz Assuntine Tricolore Pasta (or penne, rotinni, or other pasta of your choice)

½ lb ground sirloin
1 spicy hot Italian sausage
1 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp onion powder
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 egg
1 tsp black pepper
Breadcrumbs

1 stick semi-sweet unsalted butter
¼ cup diced red bell pepper
1 carrot, sliced thin
1 cup heavy cream
fresh ground black pepper

OK, no fooling around here—we’re in a hurry. Fill a medium boiler with a couple of quarts of water and place it on the stove on medium heat.

Also toss your largest heavy skillet on the stove on medium heat and add a splash of olive oil.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine your Italian sausage, ground beef, and the egg. Now add your spices and the Worcestershire sauce and mix everything up real well. Add a little breadcrumbs to stiffen things up. The amount of breadcrumbs will vary based on the amount of fat in your ground beef—I used about two tablespoons.

Now scoop out some of the meat mixture and make yourself eight or ten small meatballs. Pinch a chunk of meat mixture out and roll it up in a ball in your hands and place the meatball in the skillet.

When you have all of the meatballs made and they are cooking along, carefully lift and turn them several times to brown nicely on the outside and ensure that they are done at least medium well inside. When they are all cooked, pull the meatballs out and place them on a plate on the side.

By now your water should be boiling. Add a teaspoon of salt, a drizzle of olive oil, and dump in your pasta to cook based on the package instructions. I like mine al dente.

Turn the heat down on the skillet slightly and add ¼ stick of butter. As your butter melts, scrape the skillet to break loose the flavorful chunks of meat left over from cooking your meatballs. Add your red bell pepper and carrot and sauté until tender, then add the rest of the butter and kick the heat back up slightly until the butter is melted and starting to bubble.

Pour in the cream and do not walk away from the stove until you are finished cooking. You have to watch and stir this mixture almost continuously or you WILL burn it and will be stuck eating McDonalds burgers for dinner. We can’t have that, can we?

As your cream sauce starts to thicken, add your meatballs back in and keep stirring. Add a couple of twists of fresh ground black pepper. Keep stirring.

Place your pasta bowls in the oven to preheat.

When your pasta is done, pour it into a colander and drain it well, then dump it into the skillet with the meatballs and sauce. Let everything cook another couple of minutes.

Pull your pasta bowls out of the oven, place them on chargers, pour half of your mixture into each bowl, grab couple of forks, and EAT.

Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Dutch Noodle Soup

Pat and I are traveling on vacation this week so I haven’t had many chances to cook—but I have had plenty of chances to eat some good food. Lots of Polish and German influenced food like sour kraut, sausages, perogies, chipped ham—things that you can’t get in Georgia—at least not in the quality that they have here in Pennsylvania.

Pat’s daughter, Kris, cooked this old Kovach family recipe called Dutch Noodle Soup for us the evening we arrived. It was excellent.

Here is what you will need:

3 lb beef roast
1 large onion, diced
4 or 5 carrots, diced
4 stalks celery, diced
a handful of fresh parsley, chopped
salt to taste
fresh ground black pepper
paprika
basil
oregano
1 bay leaf
2 large cans pureed tomatoes

For the “Noodles”:

5 to 7 cups flour
6 eggs
¾ cup warm water

For the “Noodle filling”:

2 lbs sausage
1 small onion, diced fine
1 egg

First you need to cook your roast. Place it in a 6 quart boiler and add enough water to cover the roast about half way. Add your onion, carrots, celery, parsley, salt (watch the quantity), a couple twists of fresh black pepper, and the rest of your spices.

Kick on the heat to medium high and bring everything to a low boil, then back the heat off to a simmer and add your tomatoes. Now cover the pot and let the roast slow cook for a couple of hours. After two hours, check the roast and keep cooking until it is tender and falls apart easily.

Turn off the heat, remove your roast to a plate, and let everything cool down a little while you make your noodle filling and dough.

For the filling, combine the sausage, onion, and egg in a large mixing bowl and stir it all up well to combine.

In another mixing bowl, start out with five cups of flour, reserving two cups to add if you need it for consistency. Make a hole in the middle of your pile of flour, add your eggs, and start mixing. When everything is combined well, start drizzling in your warm water. Did I say keep mixing? You want the dough to be slightly sticky so go easy on the water. If you get things too thin, just add a little more flour to thicken things up.

Now lightly flour your working surface and place 1/6th of the dough in the middle and roll it out evenly until it is a very thin circle—1/8” thick or so.

Place 1/6th of your sausage filling in the middle of the dough circle and spread it out so that it nearly covers the entire area of the dough. Now roll up your noodle dough around the sausage to form a long tube and slice the tube into ¾” pieces.

Meanwhile, back with the roast, after it has cooled off, pick through the meat and remove any pieces of fat or bone that you don’t want to eat. Tear the meat up into chunks not larger than 1” or so.

Now put the meat and your noodles back in the pot with the liquid you cooked the roast in and add an additional 2 or 3 quarts of water to the pot. Turn the heat back on and bring it back to a low simmer and cook for an additional hour to hour and one half, longer if you have the time.

When you run out of patience, turn off the heat, dip some soup out into bowls, grab a soup spoon, and EAT.

Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

The Galloping Redneck Gourmet

The Redneck Gourmet is going to be the Galloping Gourmet for ten days beginning Saturday. Wish us good weather, on-time airline flights, and a clean rental car.

We’ll be traveling to Pittsburg and Erie, Pennsylvania; Charleston, West Virginia; and a tiny town in Southern Ohio that you’ve probably never heard of—all family related. It’s funny how that, even though you live on an island with a swimming pool and beach, none of your relatives can ever manage to get off their butts and visit you—you have to come to them, you know?

The good news is that there are a number of good restaurants we get to dine at, including Joe Fazio’s, a well-known Italian place in Charleston that has served national celebrities and politicians for over fifty years.

The bad news is, in addition to either no Internet access in some homes or slow dial up service in some of the hotels, I won’t have any pots, pans, and spices unless I can kick someone out of their kitchen to cook a meal, and experimentation will probably be out of the question, so my posting will be light over this period of time.

I’ll try to give a couple of updates and please check back here to The Redneck Gourmet when I get back in town to see what I’ve been up to.

Regards Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Spicy Stuffed Blue Cheese Burgers

I love strong flavored cheeses like Blue Cheese. Our local grocer has a good assortment of cheeses and I often splurge on Brie, localetti Romano/Parmesan, and really good blue cheese in a solid block.

It can get sort of pricy, but I think that it is worth the cost. With our current emphasis on grilling, last Sunday I decided to copy something I saw Emeril do on Food Network.

To make three large burgers, you will need:

1-1/4 pounds of 90% lean ground beef
8 to 10 ounces of chunk blue cheese
1 egg
¼ medium onion, diced fine
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp garlic powder
Fresh ground black pepper
Salt (as much as your blood pressure can stand)
1 tsp cayenne pepper
Unseasoned breadcrumbs

Here is what you do to put it all together:

Dump your ground beef into a mixing bowl and smash it out flat with your fist. Now add the egg, the diced onion, the Worcestershire sauce, the garlic powder, twist in the black pepper with your pepper mill, add a teaspoon or so of salt, and the cayenne pepper.

Massage everything together with your fingers. If you are squeamish or a city slicker, use a big wooden spoon or a dough cutter. Don’t overwork the mixture, just get it combined evenly.

Now look at what you have put together. Is it too moist? Then toss in some breadcrumbs to thicken things up and make it hold together a little better. The amount will depend on the quality and fat content of your ground beef.

When you are satisfied with your mixture, reach in and divide it up into three equal balls. Are they equal? No? Then adjust them by pinching off a little meat from the ones that are too big and add it to the ones that are too small.

Divide the three balls in half each. You should have six blobs of ground beef mixture. Flatten the blobs out into 3/8” thick patties about 4” to 5” in diameter.

Now crumble up your blue cheese and place 1/3 of the cheese into the middle of three of the patties. Add a second patty on top of the blue cheese and carefully squeeze the two patties together around the cheese, pinching the edges together to close up the “seam.”

You should now have three nice, fat, blue cheese stuffed burgers.

Fire up the grill, toss them on, cook them done like you like them, and EAT.

Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Baby Back Pork Ribs

Sometimes I surprise myself.

Today’s Memorial Day BBQ effort was one of those events that you can't plan in advance—it just happens. We cooked ribs on the grill by the neighborhood pool.

In addition to charcoal and hickory chips, we also used up a bunch of ice, rum, and tequila in the blender poolside and entertained some innocent bystanders as our neighbors wandered into the proceedings. Can you say “drive-by BBQ?”

I barely got to eat any of the ribs myself. Oh well...

By cooking ribs, I don’t mean that I stripped the plastic wrap off the ribs and tossed them on the grill—no sir, I gave my baby back pork ribs a day at the health spa. If I were a rib, I would have been quite happy doing what my ribs did today.

Here’s what I did with (to) my ribs…

First there was a nice BRINE BATH:

1-1/2 gallon of water (enough for three or four racks of ribs)
½ cup of kosher salt
½ cup of sugar
2/3 cup white vinegar
2/3 cup apple cider vinegar
(Increase the proportions of the ingredients if you need more water)

Put the brine together in a large covered boiler (mine was a three gallon pot.) Open your rib packaging and rinse the ribs off under cold water in the sink. Place the ribs on a cutting board and carefully strip off the “skin” membrane on the back side (the concave side.) Also cut away any extra chunks of fat and membrane that you don’t want to eat. By now your ribs should look very pretty.

Place your ribs in the brine, put the pot in the refrigerator, and let them swim around overnight, or for at least six hours (mine went about eight hours.)

When you are ready to cook your ribs, pull them out of the brine and place them in a pan or on a cookie sheet to drain for a few minutes. Pat them dry with a clean dish rag.

Next my ribs had a nice RUBDOWN:

1/8 cup black pepper
1/8 cup paprika
1-1/2 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp cayenne pepper

Mix up the rub in a mixing bowl, then store it in a small jar or plastic container until you are ready to use it. Sprinkle the rub over the ribs and rub it in with your fingers.

Then my Ribs went into a HOT SAUNA:

Now Your ribs need to go on the grill to cook. Don't use a gas grill (OK, if you must, you must), but don't just pile a bunch of charcoal brickettes up and light them using "Gulflight" lighter fluid...that stuff stinks. I use an electric grill starter and for these ribs you want to use indirect heat. After the coals are hot, push the charcoal over to the sides of the grill and cook the ribs over a pan of water in the center. I stood my rib racks up on their sides vertically, leaning against each other for support.

Now here is the important part--regulate your grill temperature to somewhere between 200 deg F and 250 deg F. Use those vents and dampers on the grill, don't just stand there and complain, burning off your eyebrows and the hair on your knuckles. (Sorry, I guess that ladies don't have hair on their knuckles?)

If you will keep the temperature under control, you can expect to spend between 2-1/2 and 3 hours fooling around at the pool or otherwise waiting while the ribs get nice and tender. Pour yourself a drink and relax...this is supposed to be vacation, not work, you know?

For my ribs "suntan lotion," I made some Kansas City Style BBQ Sauce:

½ cup light (or dark) brown sugar
1 tbsp dry mustard powder
1 tbsp dried ginger
½ tbsp chili powder
½ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp black pepper
¼ tsp allspice
3 cups catsup
¼ cup black strap molasses
¼ cup water
½ cup white vinegar

I took the rib racks off the grill at about the 2-1/2 hour point and brushed them all over with a thick coating of the BBQ sauce, then put them back on the grill for the final half hour of cooking.

By the time my ribs had finished, I had collected a couple of kids and five other adults that had designs on sampling the results of my efforts.

We broke out the slaw, potato salad, and sliced up a fresh pineapple and ATE. (Did I mention the home-made Key Lime Pie for desert?)

Regards Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Boston Baked Beans

Continuing our Memorial Day and Summer Cookout theme, I decided to attack home made baked beans. I’m not talking about opening a can of Bush’s beans or other store bought beans and adding brown sugar and stuff.

Nooooooooo sir… I’m into pain.

I want to make real authentic home made Boston Baked Beans. After doing some checking around on the Internet it became fairly obvious that the recipe is simple, it just takes all day to make your beans properly.

I really liked the simplicity of this 1940’s Gourmet Magazine recipe for Boston Baked Beans. I also referred to this recipe.

I ended up using these ingredients:

1 lb dried navy beans
1 pork neck bone
2 tbs butter
½ onion, finely chopped
½ tsp dried English mustard
¼ tsp paprika
½ cup black strap molasses
¼ cup dark brown sugar
1/3 cup light brown sugar
salt and pepper to taste

The night before you want to cook your beans, place them in a 4 quart boiler and add enough cold water to cover about an inch. I fooled around and started soaking my beans at 4:00 AM and let them soak till noon. Change your water once while your beans are swimming and pick through the beans to remove any dark or “stung” beans that might be less than appetizing to eat.

After the beans have soaked for at least six hours, place the boiler on the stovetop and fire up the heat to medium high. Bring the beans to a slow boil and add your pork neck bone and a couple of twists of fresh ground black pepper

Step away from the stove and let your beans boil for at least one hour. Mine could have cooked a little longer, so I suggest cooking 1-1/2 to 2 hours if you like your beans really tender.

Now dice your onion really fine. Some people like to put big chunks or “rings” of onion in their baked beans. Not me, but to each their own. Cut your onion the way you like.

I also like my onion sautéed, so I melted a couple of table spoons of butter in a small boiler and cooked my onions until they were clear and tender. You can use your onions raw, however, if you want to.

When the beans are done boiling, turn off the heat and let them cool down a little. Now dip a half cup of the water off of the beans and add to the onions in the other boiler. Stir in the light and dark brown sugar, the paprika, the mustard, and the molasses. A little salt and a couple twists of fresh black pepper can’t hurt—you decide how much.

Fish out your pork neck bone and place it aside (don’t toss it in the trash-you’ll need it later. Now drain your cooked beans in a colander, reserving the liquid. Dump the beans back in the boiler, stir the onion/sugar/spice/molasses mixture into the beans and add about ½ cup of the reserved water.

Now, if you don’t have an oven safe bean pot, use a covered casserole dish that is at least 4” deep. Also, if you don’t want to spend an hour cleaning the dish and the lid, I suggest spraying both with a non-stick cooking spray.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Place your pork neck bone in the middle of your bean pot and pour the bean mixture in around it. Just for fun I drizzled the top of the beans with some more molasses ‘cause I like molasses.

Cover the dish, place it in the oven, and turn the temperature down to 300 degrees F.

Wander off to the pool or go watch TV, checking back once an hour to see how your beans are baking. Notice how the color changes to a nice dark redish brown?

Hey, you there...get your spoon out of those beans!

Each time you check your progress, add a ¼ cup of your reserved bean cooking liquid to the baking beans to keep everything from drying out. After four hours, remove the lid and cook your beans another thirty minutes to an hour.

When you think the beans are done, pull them out of the oven and let them cool for ten or so minutes, then plate them up with your slaw, slice your meat(loaf) and EAT.


Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Hawaiian Cold Slaw

With Memorial Day rapidly approaching, Pat and I are getting the urge to expand our grilling and Summer cooking menu. Easy, light flavors, and simple “mass quantities” of foods designed to feed our guests lunch at the pool or be cooked and/or served at late afternoon cookouts.

I had to spend some time working on a set for a play at the local theater on Saturday so I charged Pat with coming up with a big batch of cold slaw for a couple of meals this weekend.

What she came up with is based on this recipe for Hawaiian Coleslaw.

As usual, we made a few modifications—adding fresh ginger root and substituting some red cabbage (we like the color.)

3 cups fresh, shredded green cabbage
1 cup fresh, shredded red cabbage
1 11 oz. can mandarin oranges
1 cup crushed pineapple, drained
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground ginger (use fresh ginger if you have it)
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg (use freshly grated if you have it)
1 tbsp. orange juice
1/4 tsp. white pepper
1/2 cup mayonnaise

This is pretty much a no-brainer recipe. Shred your cabbage by hand or with the food processor. Drain the oranges and pineapple, reserving the juice.

Toss the cabbage with the ginger, nutmeg, salt, and pepper.

Redneck Tip: You can sprinkle a little of the reserved juices into the mix if you like your slaw juicier.

Add the drained fruit and toss well.

Now add the mayo, and toss some more. Cover and let the slaw sit overnight if you have the time—it will taste a lot better the next day.


Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

"Kicked Up" Meatloaf--Cooking Reruns

Today is a nice spring Sunday, with weather suitable for spending the afternoon at our swimming pool. Pat made a big batch of Hawaiian Cold Slaw yesterday, and I'm cooking Boston Baked Beans which will be in the oven for about five hours while I also cook my nose in the sun at the pool.

To go with our slaw and baked beans, I'm cooking a re-run recipe that I posted back around Thanksgiving. I found it on the Food Network website. The recipe is called Emeril’s “Most Kicked Up Meatloaf Ever.”

I made some modifications based on having dried spices rather than fresh. I've cooked it several times and found it to produce excellent results. No Catsup Required...

The modified ingredient listing, making enough for four to six people, looks like this:

3 tablespoons butter (or bacon drippings)
1/2 large onion, chopped
1 rib celery, finely chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, finely chopped
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 eggs
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/3 cup ketchup, plus 1/4 cup
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup Heavy cream
1/2 cup Breadcrumbs
1-1/4 pound ground chuck (try 90% lean—I used 80% and it was too greasy)
1/3 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoons plus 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Three or four medium potatoes, quartered (I omitted the potatoes since we had beans & slaw)
1 6oz jar green giant button mushrooms

1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes

In a large heavy skillet, heat the bacon dripping over medium heat. Add all but about 4 tbsp of the chopped onion, the celery, and all but 2 tbsp of the bell pepper to the skillet and cook until they soften, about 5 minutes or so.

Add one tsp garlic, the thyme, rosemary, and the parsley and cook an additional 2 minutes. Set skillet aside to cool. Preheat your oven to 350 deg F.

Redneck Tip: Tilt your skillet slightly and spoon off any extra bacon grease that you can.

In a large mixing bowl, transfer the cooled vegetable mixture and add the eggs, the mustard, 1/3 cup of ketchup, the Worcestershire sauce, the cream, and mix well. Then add the breadcrumbs, ground chuck, salt, and pepper. Mix until everything is uniformly combined (no dry spots,) but don’t over mix.

Turn the whole blob out into a greased oval corningware casserole dish (I used an oval, 3” deep dish,) shape into a loaf with your hands. If you are using them, place your quartered red potatoes around the loaf in the dish.

In a small saucepan, combine the rest of the onion, garlic, the red bell pepper, ¼ cup ketchup, the red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, and canned tomatoes. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium high heat and simmer for a few minutes to reduce slightly. Pour the mixture over the top of the meatloaf, sprinkle the button mushrooms on top of that, smooth out with a spoon, and toss the whole thing in the oven for 60 to 75 minutes.

Redneck Tip: At the hour mark, start checking every five minutes or so because you don’t want to burn the top of the loaf.

When you think it is done, turn off the oven and take the meatloaf out and set on a rack to cool for ten minutes or so. Put your plates in the oven for a minute to warm.

When the loaf has cooled a bit, put your warmed plates on chargers, slice the loaf, spoon out some of everything onto your plates, and serve with your slaw and baked beans or other vegetable on the side. No ketchup required!


Enjoy Ya’ll

The Redneck Gourmet

Pulled Pork Butt Barbeque

I was strolling past the meat counter at the local grocer the other day and noticed that they had Boston Butt Pork Roasts for half price--$0.98 per pound. I left the store with a five pounder in my cart.

My Butt sat in the fridge for a couple of days (sorry, I just couldn’t resist writing that without actually talking dirty) while I researched how to make pulled pork and my own barbeque sauce.

There are literally hundreds of opinions and recipes covering the subject in cookbooks, on TV shows, and on the internet, but the best ones all involve brining the pork before it is cooked and using a spice rub while it is cooked. Then, once you’ve brined your Butt and rubbed your Butt, you can grill your Butt, smoke your Butt, or roast your Butt in the oven. (Again sorry folks, I just couldn’t resist…)

Since we wanted to spend Sunday afternoon at the pool while the pork slow cooked, I chose roasting in the oven as my method du jour.

Here are the ingredients you’ll need to cook your Butt…snicker…snicker

For the Brine:

1 gallon of water (more if you have a bigger Butt than mine…heh)
¼ cup of kosher salt
¼ cup of sugar
½ cup white vinegar
½ cup apple cider vinegar
(Increase the proportions of the other ingredients if you need more water)

For the Rub:

1/8 cup black pepper
1/8 cup paprika
1-1/2 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp cayenne pepper

For ”Kansas City” style Barbeque Sauce:

½ cup light (or dark) brown sugar
1 tbsp dry mustard powder
½ tbsp chili powder
½ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp black pepper
¼ tsp allspice
3 cups catsup
¼ cup black strap molasses
¼ cup water
½ cup white vinegar
½ tsp Gravymaster flavoring/seasoning

First things first. The day or night before you’re going to cook your Butt you need to make up the brine.

I put the brine ingredients together in our largest 3 gallon boiler, stirred it all up, and put my Butt inside after trimming off the excess fat and any muscle “sheath” that is on the outside (hey, no comments please…)

Place your brined Butt in the refrigerator overnight, or at least six hours. I brined my Butt at about 3:00 AM and let it sit in the brine until noon the next day. It can actually stay in the brine for as long as two whole days.

Next make up the rub for your Butt. Simply mix all of the ingredients together in a small mixing bowl. I put mine “Butt rub” in a small jar so that I could save any left over for another Butt.

When you are ready to cook your Butt, pull it out of the brine, rinse it off real good in the sink, and place it on a platter to drain. Now pat your Butt dry with a clean dishtowel or paper towels. Dry off the platter also.

Now sprinkle your Butt rub all over your Butt and rub your Butt rub into the surface of your Butt with your hands (that has to be the record for the number of times I will write the word Butt” in one sentence in this recipe.)

Preheat the oven to 275 degrees F.

Preheat an appropriate sized Dutch-oven on the stovetop over medium heat. Add a few tablespoons of olive oil. Now place your Butt in the Dutch-oven and sear it well on all sides.

Once your Butt is seared, turn it over on it’s side and add a ½ cup of liquid to the bottom of the pot. You can use water if you want, but I used a little white wine and some left over chicken stock that I had sitting in the fridge. A lot of juice will cook out of the meat while it is heating, but the wine/stock mixture adds some flavor and it just seemed like a good idea to me.

Toss your Butt in the oven and go watch TV or go to the pool…I sun burned my nose this afternoon waiting on my Butt to cook.

Now is the time to make your Barbeque sauce if your aren’t using store bought sauce. By the way, everyone knows that real men don’t use store bought sauce.

Put the brown sugar, mustard powder, and the spices in a heavy skillet over medium low heat. Add the Catsup, molasses, water, and vinegar, and stir everything together.

Keep you heat low enough to avoid boiling your sauce. You need to treat it like a roux or a gravy and stir almost continuously. It needs to cook at least thirty minutes while you pay close attention to it. Once it thickens to where you want it, turn off the heat and let it coast.

Keep cooking your Butt until the meat flakes apart easily. I turned my Butt over in the Dutch oven once while it was cooking to keep both sides of my Butt juicy (for some reason that sounds wrong…never mind…)

A general rule is to cook your Butt in the oven about one hour per pound—on the grill it takes about 1-1/2 hours per pound.

Once your Butt is cooked (as opposed to your Goose), pull it out of the pot and place it on a clean platter to rest for a few minutes. My Butt was tired after all that work.

Now tear your Butt up with a knife and fork, place it on top of a couple pieces of light bread on plates with some slaw and potato salad, top with barbeque sauce, pour yourself a cold beer, AND EAT!

Enjoy Y’all,


The Redneck Gourmet

(P.S, I actually got to write the word “Butt” 33 times in this recipe. Oh, to be thirteen years old again.)

UPDATE: May 16, 2005

After the meat cools, pick though it with your fingers to remove the fat and stuff you don't want to eat (I'm like Jack Spratt--I eat no fat) and place it in a covered container, adding the rest of your barbeque sauce, stirring everything up, and storing it in the fridge.

It heats up well in a small skillet to make sandwiches over the next few days, or you can freeze it for a few weeks.

Almond Tarragon Chicken Salad

Ok, we’ve all been through this process at one time or the other.

Its approaching noon on a weekday morning (or a weekend morning if you don’t work from home) and your significant other says “I’m Hungry…”

What do you do? A) Ignore their request (bad idea) B) go to the local deli to pick up a sandwich, or C) make something interesting to eat.

Well, for me, option A was out of the question, option B was a possibility, but I chose option C and made something to eat yesterday morning.

The idea came from an ad in the sale paper from a local grocery store—almond tarragon chicken salad. Pat thought that it tasted GOOD.

Here is what I did to make enough chicken salad for four sandwiches:

The Ingredients:

Two boneless chicken breasts—cooked as you like them (we used leftovers)
2 tbsp dried Tarragon (or fresh tarragon if you have it)
1 or 2 stalks of celery, diced very fine
½ cup sliced almonds
2 hard boiled eggs
5 tbsp low fat mayonnaise
½ tbsp white truffle oil
¼ tsp paprika
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp black pepper

The preparation:

Dice up your cooked chicken breasts very fine. Toss the chicken into a medium mixing bowl. Now dice up the boiled eggs and toss them in with the chicken.

Redneck Tip: Contrary to popular belief, it does NOT matter if the chicken or the egg comes first—at least in this recipe.

Crumble up the sliced almonds and add them to the bowl, along with the celery, the truffle oil, and all of the spices. Now stir everything up really good. I SAID STIR IT UP GOOD. (Stir some more if you have any doubt.)

Now add the mayo and stir everything again. Refrigerate until you are ready to make chicken salad sandwiches, else you can eat it as a side dish with burgers or dogs or whatever.

Enjoy Y’all

The Redneck Gourmet

Pork Tamale Filling

(Putting it all together)

I’ve written pretty extensively about beef tamales earlier. They take a good deal of time to make, but I believe that if you use a great filling that they are well worth the effort.

If you’ve been following along and cooking with my recent posts, by now you should have one or more pounds of pre-cooked pork tenderloin, cooled on a plate, along with a pot of really tasty stock with vegetables cooling in the fridge.

Take your stock out of the fridge and spoon the congealed grease off of the top. Now dip out a couple of cups of the liquid, along with a cup of the carrots, onions, etc. and process the mixture in your blender or food processor. You want the vegetables in little bitty teeny tiny chunks.

Place the pork tenderloin on the cutting board and slice it across the grain into ½” pieces. If you did things right it should crumble into shreds while you’re doing this step. If not, tear the slices up into small pieces with your fingers.

Next comes the final seasoning—Menudo. I think that Menudo is Mexican for “every darn savory spice in your pantry” or something like that because that’s what’s in it. I found this recipe on the internet. I didn’t have all of the spices and I didn’t want SEVEN CUPS of Menudo seasoning, so here’s what I made up:

2-1/2 tbsp ground cumin
1-1/2 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp granulated garlic
1 tbsp onion powder
½ tsp powdered mustard
½ tsp oregano
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp nutmeg
1 tsp salt

This should be more than enough seasoning for the pork and the chicken. I added three table spoons worth to my one pound of shreded pork.

Heat a couple of tablespoons of good extra virgin olive oil in a large deep skillet over medium low heat on the stove top.

Add your pork/spice mixture and sauté briefly, then add your processed stock and one can of chicken stock. You can also dice up some canned Chipolte peppers in Adobo sauce and add them to the mix at this point if you want. Careful with the Chipolte’s—they’re hot…

Stir everything up and let it simmer until the mixture is the consistency of “sloppy joes.” You want it wet, but not “dripping wet.”

When the mixture has reduced, you can either let it cool and place it in the fridge overnight, freeze it, or jump back to the beef tamale recipe and substitute “pork” every where you see “beef”.

Enjoy Y’all

The Redneck Gourmet

I'm Back From Mexico--Part II

(It’s all a state of Mind—or insanity)

Now there is chicken…

Whole chicken, cut into pieces—about four pounds (more birds if you got them and have a big enough pot, just multiply the other ingredients)

4 tbsp olive oil
1 yellow onion, sliced
6 cloves garlic, pealed
3 stalks of celery, sliced
4 carrots, sliced
3 tsp cumin
1 tsp allspice
2/4 tsp cayenne pepper

6 tsp powdered “herb ox” beef bouillon
10 cups hot water (enough water to cover your bird parts)

Once again, this is really simple to do. Take a big breath and don’t panic. All you need is one six or eight quart boiler.

Set the boiler on the stove top and turn the heat up to medium-low. Add your olive oil, the onions, celery, and carrots. Cook until the onions are clear and tender, then add the garlic and cook a few minutes.

Mix your bouillon powder with the hot water and let it sit on the side while you continue cooking.

Now turn the heat up to medium and add your bird parts and the water/beef bouillon mixture and stir every thing up. Turn down the heat to medium low, cover the pot, and step away from the oven.

Cook the bird until it starts to fall apart, at least two hours. When the meat is done to your satisfaction, pull it out on the side and let it cool. Let your stock cool separately, and spoon the fat off of the top.

By now you should have a bunch of Chicken (and pork if you followed the previous recipe) as well as some really fine stock, so let’s look at the possibilities…

Enjoy Y'all

The Redneck Gourmet

I'm Back From Mexico

(It’s all a state of Mind)

Cinco de Mayo has past now. As a result of our celebration of Mexican Independence Day, I’ve spent a LOT of time looking into “Mexican” cooking over the past couple of weeks. So much time that I think Pat is getting tired of Mexican.

That will never happen to me. As I’ve said earlier—I LOVE MEXICAN FOOD.

I’ve watched the Food Network shows on Mexican cooking and I have dreamed about black beans and tortillas. Here is the main thing that I have learned about cooking Mexican style. Mexican food is really simple—it’s just different from southern American food or Cajun food or Italian food or whatever.

The good news is, while it doesn’t have to cost much per portion served, it is hard to make just a little Mexican food for two. Seriously, Mexican seems to be best done in larger quantities, and some of it takes a good deal of time to do properly, so you don’t want to try to make just three tamales or one burrito or whatever.

Instead of cooking a single dish with a single meat, I’m starting to do my Mexican cooking in a process of cooking up one or two meats (pork, beef, or chicken), then making different dishes by further processing the basic meats as the filling ingredient for finished product.

What I’m going to do now is describe what I’ve been doing over the past few days to make the meat fillings for a couple of dishes, and the byproducts, some soup and other side dishes.

First there is pork…

Pork tenderloin—about one pound (more if you got it, just multiply the other ingredients)

2 tbsp olive oil
½ yellow onion, sliced
4 cloves garlic, pealed
1 stalk celery, sliced
2 carrots, sliced
1 tsp cumin
¼ tsp allspice
¼ tsp cayenne pepper

2 tsp powdered “herb ox” beef bouillon
4 cups hot water (enough water to cover your pork tenderloin)

This is really simple to do, so don’t panic. All you need is one six quart boiler.

Set the boiler on the stove top and turn the heat up to medium-low. Add your olive oil, the onions, celery, and carrots. Cook until the onions are clear and tender, then add the garlic and cook a few minutes.

Mix your bouillon powder with the hot water and let it sit while you continue cooking.

Now turn the heat up to medium. Push the veggies to the side and toss your pork tenderloin in and sear it on all sides.

Once you have a nice “color” on the meat, add the water/beef bouillon mixture and stir every thing up. Turn down the heat to medium low, cover the pot, and step away from the oven.

Cook the pork until it starts to fall apart, about two hours. When the meat is done to your satisfaction, pull it out on the side and let it cool. Let your stock cool separately, and spoon the fat off of the top.

NOW, THE NEXT FEW POSTS WILL TALK ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR PORK, AS WELL AS COOKING UP SOME OTHER MEATS FOR USE IN YOUR MEXICAN COOKING…


Black Bean and Corn Soup

I made this little dish up on my own, accidentally. I dumped a can of rinsed black beans and a small can of whole kernel corn into a boiler for the purpose of making a ‘vegetable medley” side dish, and ended up making soup after storing the mixture in the fridge for a couple of days.

(1) 15-1/4 ounce can of black beans, rinsed well
(1) 8-1/4 ounce can of whole kernel yellow corn
a few pieces of roasted red bell pepper
diced onion or scallions if you like
hot sauce to taste
a few twists of fresh black pepper
1 cup of liquid stock from the pork tenderloin mixture cooked as described above

If you try too hard, you can screw this recipe up. Otherwise, open the cans, throw everything in the pot, and cook it for an hour--longer if you have the time.

Eat the results, and shut up while I write up the other recipes...

Enjoy Y'all

The Redneck Gourmet

Beef Tamales

In anticipation of Cinco de Mayo, I’m declaring the next four weeks our official Unofficial Mexican Food Month here at the Redneck Gourmet. I can do this because 1) its my blog and 2) I really like Mexican cuisine.

When I was a kid, I had the opportunity to visit Mexico a couple of times with my parents on vacation. As a result, I learned to like Mexican food at an early age. Oddly enough, there was a pretty good Mexican restaurant in our little town in south Alabama in a time prior to the modern invasion of Mexican immigrants, both legal and illegal. Now you can’t turn a corner in most cities without finding a Mexican restaurant, but back then they were few and far between in the southeastern US.

One item was published on the menu at our local El Palacio Restaurant which was hardly ever available…

TAMALES.

For some reason their kitchen had trouble making tamales or they couldn’t get all of the ingredients or something—but for whatever reason they were only able to serve them about one out of ten times we dined there.

Maybe it was the psychological effect of being a scarce commodity or something else in addition to their wonderful texture and flavor, but for whatever reason, in my mind…

I absolutely love tamales.

I recently decided to learn how to make them, and it isn’t easy. But let me tell you, IT’S MOST DEFINITELY WORTH THE EFFORT!

This guy’s Website is the primary basis of my efforts this afternoon. To be fair, I also have to give this web site credit for explaining the process and linking me to other sites.

Having said all of that, as usual I’m going to change things to suit my own tastes and to make enough food for two people with a reasonable amount of leftovers (most published recipes make a zillion tamales.)

Tamales consist of a precooked meat filling, surrounded by a soft, ground corn shell made from something called Masa, which is traditionally steamed in a corn husk wrapper. The corn husks are a bit of a pain to work with and cost a little extra, but I found a good substitute—parchment paper. According to my reading, you can also use waxed paper, aluminum foil, or even paper coffee filters. The key is to wrap the assembled tamales in something to keep them together during the steaming process.

I have to admit that at first glance at the label on the bag of Masa is a little frightening. “Ground corn and lime” it says. Lime? Not limes like the green fruit called limes…I mean lime like the caustic chemical lime. I’m thinking to myself that I’m making tamales, not fertilizing the yard here, so what’s with the lime--you know?

Well, I’ll have to take their word for it. Apparently the lime is common in processing corn products like hominy corn and making mesa. Tastes OK to me, by the way.

Go figure.

So here is what you need to make eight large tamales:

(2) Cups masa
(2) Tbsp corn oil
1-1/8 cup water
(1) Tsp baking powder
(1) Tsp salt

For the filling:

¾ lb beef brisket or London broil
1/8 cup olive oil
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
Fresh-ground black pepper

(2) Tbsp lard
½ medium onion sliced thin
(4) Cloves garlic, pealed and smashed flat
(10) Black peppercorns
(1) Can of beef stock
(2) Cups of water

½ tbsp cumin
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
(1) 7oz can Chipotle Peppers in Adobo sauce

First things first. Rinse off your piece of beef and pat dry with a clean dishtowel or paper towels. Take a large meat fork and stab the beef on both sides about twenty or thirty times to make room for the marinade to soak in.

Don’t hurt yourself in the process.

Slice the slab into 1” wide strips, toss the strips into a large zip lock bag, and pour the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and black pepper inside. Press the air out of the bag and zip it closed, then massage the liquid to mix with and saturate your beef. Toss it on the kitchen counter and get the rest of your tools and ingredients ready to work with. The meat needs to marinade for at least a half hour. I let mine go a full hour. Pick up the bag every fifteen minutes and squeeze everything around to ensure that the beef and marinade is mixed real good.

To make your tamales, you are going to need a 6 quart boiler with lid, a four quart boiler with steamer basket and lid, and a large cast iron skillet.

After the meat has been marinated, place the 6 quart boiler over medium heat and toss in the beef to sear and brown on the outside. Once browned, melt the lard, then add the can of beef stock, two cups of water, the onions, garlic, peppercorns, cumin, and cayenne pepper. Bring everything to a low boil, add the cover, and cook for a couple of hours until the meat is tender and starts to fall apart. By now the liquid should have reduced by about 1/3rd. Turn off the heat and let things cool a bit.

Once the meat has cooked, pick out the larger chunks and reserve in a bowl on the side. Pour the contents of the boiler through a colander, reserving the liquid. Pick through the colander for chunks of meat you missed, and then discard the onions and garlic.

Heat the cast iron skillet over medium heat. Shred your beef into the skillet and combine with the cumin and cayenne pepper. Add the Chipotle peppers is you like (be very careful because they are spicy HOT!) As the meat starts to sizzle, pour in a little of the reserved liquid (I used about a cup.) Cook while stirring until you have a mixture about the consistency of “sloppy Joes.” Now turn off the heat again.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the Masa with the baking powder and salt and stir well. Now add the corn oil and start adding the water a little at a time as you stir the mixture with a wooden spoon. You want to make a very stiff mixture that is slightly moist but still holds together when you press it out flat in your hand.

Put about an inch of water in your boiler and set it with the steamer basket on the stove over medium heat.

Now cut your parchment paper (mine was 12”x16” sheets) into 6”x8” rectangles. Spoon out enough of your Masa mixture to cover 4”x6” of that area. I pressed my mixture out with my hand onto the parchment, then covered it with another sheet of parchment and pressed until I got a slab about 3/16” thick. To make it a proper rectangle, tear off pieces as you work and press them where you need them, then take a knife and cut the edges nice and smooth.

This isn’t geometry class, so fool with your Masa until you are happy, then spoon out about three big teaspoons full of your meat mixture in the center. Roll the finished tamale up across in the narrow direction of the paper and then fold the two ends over once. Believe it or not, I STAPLED the paper wrappers on my tamales closed like Steve did over at Hog On Ice.

You’re in the home stretch now so stay with me here. Place your finished tamales in the steamer basket standing upright. If your basket isn’t tall enough (like mine was,) place them at least at a 45 degree angle, supported by a small juice glass or other support. Place the lid on the steamer basket, tilted slightly open to let steam escape.

Now let the tamales steam for at least 45 minutes. Step away from the stove and give yourself a nice round of applause. Mix yourself a margarita if you like. I actually made beef enchaladas, spicy mexican corn, and stuffed colored bell peppers along with my tamales, so look for more recipes later this month as I work out the details.

Serve your tamales by placing them on the plate and unwrapping them, watching out that you don't burn your fingers if they just came out of the steamer basket. Place a little salsa or adobo sauce on the side, pour a fresh margarita, and EAT!

Enjoy Y'all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Funky Southwestern Chicken & Beef a la Europe

(OK you make up a name if you can do better)

Today was another lazy day on St. Simons. Beautiful weather, but with a high in the mid sixty degree range and a moderate breeze it was too cool for the pool or beach. I didn’t set foot near a grocery store, for a change, so I worked out of the fridge and the pantry to prepare dinner tonight.

This recipe is entirely of my own making so I take total responsibility if you don’t like the outcome. I call it Funky Southwestern Chicken and Beef because the presentation on the plate looks like a dish from the southwest with the cornhusks lying under the portions, but the seasoning is definitely not Tex-Mex. Pat and I were impressed with the results.

Here is what you will need to make dinner for two:

One small beef tenderloin
One boneless, skinless chicken breast

Two ears of fresh yellow corn in the husk

Three medium Yukon gold potatoes

One package Knorr Chicken gravy

Worcestershire sauce
Dried Thyme
Dried Rosemary
Paprika
Cayenne pepper
Fresh ground black pepper
¼ stick of butter
¼ slab of cream cheese
Half & half

The preparation:

Peal the outer leaves of the corn husk off of each ear of corn, leaving three or four layers of husk intact and wrap the corn in aluminum foil. Place the corn in a 350 degree oven for about one hour.

Rinse off your chicken and beef and pat dry. (You can use all chicken or all beef if you wish for the recipe.) Place the pieces of meat in a bowl and pour about a tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce over each piece. Now sprinkle each with a little Thyme, Rosemary, Paprika, and Cayenne Pepper. Let everything marinade for 20 minutes or so.

Scrub your potatoes and cut them into even pieces about 1” thick. The reason you cut them evenly is to ensure that everything cooks and gets done together. Place them on the stove in a medium boiler with enough cold water to cover, plus about ½”. Wait until you place your meat in the oven before you kick on the heat on the potatoes.

After the corn has cooked for about forty minutes, spray a medium baking dish with Pam spray and place the meat in the dish in the oven beside the pieces of corn.

Turn on the eye on the stovetop under the potatoes to medium and bring them to a low boil.

Prepare your gravy according to the package instructions, except add a few sprinkles of Thyme and Rosemary, then keep it warm on the side.

After the corn has cooked for an hour, remove it from the oven and leave it in the foil to stay warm on the side. Turn the broiler on to 450 degrees and ensure that your dish containing the meat is in the center of the rack. Let it keep cooking for another ten minutes or so.

Check your potatoes and when they are “fork tender,” turn off the heat and let them coast.

Now take the meat out of the oven and turn off your broiler. Toss your plates (oven proof, of course) into the oven to pre-heat.

Strain up your potatoes in a colander and place the drained chunks, skin and all, into a medium mixing bowl. Add the butter, the cream cheese, a few splashes of half and half, and a few twists of pepper and mash everything up with a wooden spoon. Leave the potatoes a little chunky if you like.

Unwrap the corn and peal the husk off the ears, reserving three or four sections of husk from each ear for garnish on your plates. Cut the corn off the cob with a sharp knife and toss the kernels in a bowl with a little olive oil and butter. Add a few twists of pepper.

Slice the meat into thin slices, then remove the plates from the oven and place them on chargers. Arrange the corn husks on each plate in a “fan” shape, then spoon half of the mashed potatoes into a nice pile at the base of the fan on each plate. Spoon the corn around the edge of the potatoes and arrange the sliced meat around the outside edge of the fan.

Drizzle hot gravy over the potatoes and meat, toss the plates on the table, and EAT!

Enjoy Y’all,

The Redneck Gourmet

Pasta Machine

If you are considering buying one--Don't.

If you already have one, buy a rope or chain, take it to the lake or ocean, and use it for a boat anchor...

More later